One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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