I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
