Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The uberlube is also flammable
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
