This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
