about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
