Your face is a jimmy john
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
