We won't sleep together?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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