you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
