You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
