If i come over, it means nothing
I got chris browned last night
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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