Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
