p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
