Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
