guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
