My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
