I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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