we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
