I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
