There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i drank out of a bidet.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
