this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
