Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
