she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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