The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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