i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
