I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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