I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
