literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
