I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
