I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
