there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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