Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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