I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
