wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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