I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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