I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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