the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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