Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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