There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
