dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
