Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
