forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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