At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
