He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
