remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
