I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
