I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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