so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
