He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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