I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
