Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
